banana colors

cool beans

2012-01-16T23:50:00.000-07:00

thinking of changing my hair...

2012-01-10T20:46:00.000-07:00

anyone have a favorite?

annual report: 2011

2011-12-31T23:00:00.001-07:00

during 2011:

i finished my junior year and started my last year as an undergrad
marcos got a new position at discover and went back to school
we went on a wonderful, fastastical, and amazing trip with my parents. we spent 5 days in disney world, 1 day in universal/wizarding world of harry potter, 3 days on a cruise to the bahamas, and 1 glorious day exploring grand bahama and swimming in the most beautiful blue ocean i've ever seen. we also got to see my friend april, ride around epcot on segways, and take stefan on a tour of the world.
went to liberty land and were thoroughly disappointed and delighted
we celebrated marky's half birthday with a huge cake and lots of presents, included all nine seasons of the x-files on dvd.
we drove out to california to meet mulder and scully and chris carter. (btw, it was unbelievably awesome. we met gillian anderson and chris carter and i was mere feet away from david duchovny. *cue hyperventilation*) gillian and chris signed our season 1 box set and 'i want to believe poster' and we got a picture with her. gillian even told marcos that he was the 12th grade love of her life, and he promptly died. we also met great new friends (kenat and katie) and we still keep in touch with those wonderful people.
marcos surprised me that night at dinner... instead of driving back to utah the next day like we had planned, we were going to disneyland!!!!! i, of course, burst out crying. he had even arranged things with my work, packed my sunscreen and sneakers, bought the tickets, and had my minnie ears. it was the best surprise of my life.
we went to disneyland!!! we rode all our favorite rides, visited our favorite places, ate breakfast on main street, and watched fireworks. it was seriously the perfect disney day.
i turned 21 and marky got me 21 gifts for each year of my life! incredibly sweet and meaningful.
i flew out to california to meet robert patrick. and boy, did i ever. and guess what? he totally loved me. not kidding. we talked for 20 minutes before the show, and kissed me on the cheek and told me it was wonderful to meet me. during the show, he gave me a shout out. as soon as he was off the stage after, he made a beeline over to me, grabbed my hand and told me he was staying longer and he would love if i'd stick around. (my new friend britney and i were DYING. he totally loved us. can you blame him?) so, we stuck around and after he came out of his dressing room, he called me over and we ended up talking for another hour. and then he walked us out. my mind was 100% blown.
we bought a house!!! we found the cutest little house in a great neighborhood in salt lake that we just fell in love with. we spent several weeks refinishing all the hardwood, laying new linoleum, and painting all the rooms, trim, and ceilings with the help of my wonderful friends and parents. they worked so hard and so long, and we wouldn't have been able to do it without them. we also moved in 2 days after i got back from california from meeting the t-1000, so his incredible strength passed on to me for a few days and i lifted great amounts of furniture and boxes. huge love to all the family who helped us. we love our house!!
in september, it officially marked one year since i was a size 14. i went shopping that day to celebrate and was able to wear size 8's and 6's.
marcos won an ipad 2 at work! possibly one of the greatest days of his life.
i spent 3 days photographing the circus. it was a life changing experience and had a huge impact on my life, and especially on my art. this was when i fell in love with documentary photography and truly knew what my passion in life was.
we celebrated christmas and we both got our biggest wishes--- a nikon d7000 for me (THANK YOU!!!!!!!!) and the coolest, swankiest, and most boss bose headphones for marky.
marcos became the most photographed person in america as i celebrated with my new camera.
we celebrated marky's 25th (!!) birthday with lots of gifts from his wishlist and cool new duds. we also saw mission impossible 4 and had a very marcos themed day. it was fabulous.
marcos took a history class that he really loved and really excelled in. so much so that he declared his major and chose history! we're very, very excited. it's great to have a direction to be working in and studying something he really loves, so we couldn't be happier.
as a final cherry on top, we were able to adopt a sweet kitty on marky's birthday! it's orange, sassy, neurotic, and very fluffy, so we've been unable to tell if it's a he or a she. either way, we love him/her and will be taking him/her to the vet soon. especially because we are concerned that it is a pregnant female. scary.

overall, it was a very, very big and very, very exciting year! we're glad to end it on a high note together and look forward to spending the next wonderful year together and continuing to have lots of fun adventures.

disney extravaganza part 2: magic kindgdom and animal kingdom!

2011-12-31T19:26:00.000-07:00

well!

merry christmas!

2011-12-10T15:50:00.000-07:00

awkward on TRAX and another what you missed

2011-07-08T11:11:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I had an awkward moment. Which happen to me daily, really, but this one was so stunning in its magnificence and glory that I have been basking in a glow of pure joy ever since it occurred at approximately 6:13 pm yesterday evening.

I was riding TRAX home (as usual) and had left my book at work. So to keep myself busy I was catching up on my Facebook stalking. Whilst stalking, I noticed the reflection of the world around me showed up pretty darn well in my phone screen... So I decided to see if I could look at the train behind me in the reflection.

So I looked at the person behind me in the reflection of my phone screen.
And he was looking back.
And we shared long, lingering eye contact.

It was uncomfortable.

And because I was unwilling to break said eye contact because that would suggest the feelings of awkwardness, I continued to stare. As did he. For a full 30 seconds we maintained eye contact in my phone screen. He raised eyebrows. He bugged out his eyes. He continued to stare.

And then I just couldn't take it anymore. I erupted into laughter, causing even more awkward eye contact while the other passengers stared and realized I wasn't homeless, so why in the world would that young lady be so insane?

Anyhow, it reminded me of a post I made on my tumblr a while ago about an even weirder, more awkward day.

Something about today was just weird. I don't know if a weird toxic mist was floating around or if Salt Lake's water was poisoned by Chevron again, but something was definitely amiss. I had four notable awkward moments today. And by notable, I don't mean things like the little side-to-side dance you do when you walk right into someone and then can't decide which direction to go. I'm talking some pretty weird things here.
And I'm a really awkward person. I usually have (or observe) at least two highly awkward moments every day with lots of small ones thrown in just to keep me on my toes. So to have four in one day? CRAZINESS.

Awkward Moment #1: A mangy dog wondered into my classroom (???) and went straight under my desk... and stayed there, smelling my legs for like 5 minutes. I could NOT get him to leave and it was in the middle of someone's presentation so I just had to sit there.
Awkward Moment #2: During my layout and design class I googled some Photoshop brushes. I clicked on a link I was immediately taken to a site with all sorts of lady nakedness. Did I mention I sit in the front of the room and my screen is visible to all my classmates?
Awkward Moment #3: My geology professor. End of story. Every time he said Uranus today (which was about 50 times) he would yell it really loudly, pause, and look expectantly at the class. No one laughed, but it didn't stop him from doing so. And then he would repeat himself. All I heard for over an hour was "so we'll discuss .... URANUS!!... today...... AHAHAHAHA!"
Awkward Moment #4: A girl randomly standing up in front of the class and saying, "I've been really sick lately. I've given the doctor more poop samples than you can imagine!" Um, wow. Seriously? Wow.

You're welcome.

in which we discuss dinosaurs and jeff goldblum

2011-06-17T00:42:00.000-06:00

tonight marcos and i watched jurassic park and it was awesmoe. (yes, awesmoe because that spelling inspires yelling. oh that was so awesMOE! i loved how awesMOE that was! it's called enthusiasm, people.)

anyway.

i haven't seen this movie since it was released on VHS approximately 17 years ago and my parents decided this would make a great movie-night feature for their 3 year old. i vividly remember burying my head in my dad's chest and crying because stan winston's dinos were SO DAMN REAL. (who is my sister-in-law's uncle, so we're very proud those dinosaurs were SO DAMN REAL. excellent work, stan.)

so since i haven't seen this movie in so long, all i had to go on was what i'd heard and what i'd learned from the ride. (see previous post) to sum up what i'd heard about the film:
1. dinos are SO DAMN REAL.
2. you will poo your pants from fright
aaaand finally, coming from the nerds in the audience:
3. they took liberties and used dinosaurs that were not actually living during the jurassic period. *adjusts glasses*

WELL aren't WE high and mighty here, folks.
besides. if we're going to be talking about things not being entirely believable we should move right on to the whole "disnosaurs walking the earth again" thing because we "cloned them from blood from mosquitos found in multi-million year old amber." and, more importantly and LESS PLAUSIBLY that they tried to make jeff golblum sexy.

WOAH WOAH WOAH HOLD IT RIGHT HERE PEOPLE-- i can buy the dinos roaming and the park building and the cloning and all that jazz, but when we start to try and sex up the fly you just lose me.

but i don't know.
maybe it's just me.

thoughts?

DISNEY EXTRAVAGANZA part 1: the flight & universal studios

2011-06-07T00:32:00.000-06:00

WELL i am just positive you all are hanging by your fingernails on the edge of your seat with such a cliffhanger of my last post regarding the future disney posts... well wait no more and fear not, for the time has arrived! please make your way to the gate because the flight is now boarding (cheeeeese). speaking of which....

we tried to act like cool jetsetters in the airport

and were nearly raptured up whilst on the plane, but luckily reading the raunchiness of bossypants kept me firmly tethered to my seat.

and once we got to florida we were amazed by the plethora of weird gift shops in orlando, and were shocked that our hotel gave our reservation to someone else. *cue jerry seinfeld* so we called every hotel within a 20 mile radius and finally found one with two rooms that were on opposite sides of a complex bigger than the u's campus. it was insane. but who cares? because the next day we were GOING TO SEE HARRY POTTER!

i am telling you, you have no idea how MASSIVE that castle is until you see it yourself. it's huge! (that's what she said) and everything is so extraordinarily realistic and detailed that you really feel like you're there. (like, hello. on flight of the hippogriff there is actually a huge pumpkin in a wheelbarrow behind harid's hut. nerd alert!)

seriously, look at that! THAT IS HOGSMEADE! it was amazing. they had zonkos and honeydukes and the three broomsticks and ollivanders (complete with a wand-selecting show with all the things that happen to harry) and everything. every shop was there. and honeydukes was every dream come true-- i've never seen such yummy treats! there were cauldron cakes and pepper imps and chocolate frogs and ton-tongue toffee and on and on and on. they were all there. i should have taken a picture but i was too overwhelmed with greedy gluttony to even think of such things!

the four of us went on the forbidden journey ride-- the one in the castle-- and it blew my ever-lovin' mind. you tour the whole castle (i've been in dumbledore's office!!) and then you ride... and honestly, there's no way to even describe it. it's unlike any other ride, but it's also better that any other ride. and for those of you who know me and my love for disney know that's a huge thing to say. while i will always love the matterhorn most, this ride was seriously the most brilliant thing i have ever experienced.
oh, and the dementors probably gave me nightmares.
SCARY.

dad and i went on dragon challenge, a HUGE two track suspended roller coaster that's themed around the triwizard tournament. it's insane--- the tracks wind around each other and it looks like you're about to crash into the other car at every turn. it's mind-blowingly fun. :)
and the queue area is incredible. i was geeking out all over myself. they even had the third floor corridor door with fluffy behind it. dad was laughing at me because suddenly i turned into a drooling idiot, yelling references and squealing at every corner.

and WELCOME STEFAN, the world's most traveled dinosaur!

and we were able to meet up with my dear and darlingest friend APE FACE who, as she says, "looks black next to your paleness." yes, april. yes. i know. it's sort of amazing how white i am. she's living in florida (lucky) doing the disney college program (i would dye my skin and secretly take her place if i could get away with it). it was such fun to spend some time with her while we were there!

while she was with us we were able to ride jurassic park. (she's beyond terrified of dinosaurs, so it was extra entertaining!) marcos didn't seem to understand it is an 84-foot drop so he wrangled us all into the front row thinking it was a nice pleasant boat ride... oh boy. when he saw that drop appear out of the darkness i think i saw his pupils screaming. pure terror. it was terrifying and i couldn't stand up when it was over but it was great and stefan loved being reunited with this old pal.

we also saw these spectacular ruins and the lackluster show inside. boo.

and april and i rode the hulk. yeah. i conquered that beast.

and marcos intimidated this barrel-chested beast. (was he from tooele? ooooooh!)

i chased bubbles around the seuss land

and marcos was a total babe. always.

oh, and we met superheroes after riding the wettest boat ride of all the eternities. marcos posed all cool with his arms crossed next to woverine... and so wolverine wrapped his arms around me and said in the gruffest voice ever, "yeah. go ahead and act tough. i'll take care of the girl!" it was priceless. and we rode the spider man ride that is flies around in front of all these screens and it feels like you really are flying way up in the air-- it scared me so bad! i thought we were going to suddenly drop like the tower of terror or something. and right in the middle of that THE LIGHTS ALL GO OUT and the ride shuts down. i seriously thought we were hundreds of feet in the air and the car is shaking and shuddering and i just about vomited all over everyone. it sucked.
so we rode it again.

and then, because it was grad night and a million horny teenagers ready to get their groove on descended upon the park, it closed at 6 so went to our car and stefan looked at them with judgmental eyes.

and thus concludes the longest blog post in history, written so i will be able to remember every detail when i am old and my brain is a lump of rotten cotton.
get excited, future self, because there are like 17 more of these coming your way!

i found this picture....

2011-05-27T00:38:00.000-06:00

of my oh-so-handsome husband on my camera.

it reminded me of this.

he is insane.

and i love it.
the end.

it's that time again....

2011-05-24T23:49:00.001-06:00

for my annual ~~creepy~~ beautiful picture of me and my best friend mario to celebrate his birthday!

isn't it amazing we've been friends so long?? just look at that baby face! i think i was 12 here. striking resemblance to this AWKWARD family photo.

oh, sweet memories of floating heads and terrible ideas by my beautiful mother. and my tina fey-eqse shot. wowwwwwwwwwww.

oh, yeah.
happy birthday.

Nighttime Disney

2011-05-10T15:36:00.001-06:00

Whew! Marcos and I (along with my parents) have just returned from a whirlwind vacation in Florida and the Bahamas. We were able to spend 5 days in Disney World, 1 day in Universal Studios, and 3 days on a cruise to the Bahamas! All in all it was incredible and we have oodles of pictures to share. :) I'll kick off the slew of posts with a few of my favorite shots of the whole trip from my favorite time of day at Disney-- the night. Everything is beautiful and lit up, so we couldn't resist busting out some long exposures to capture all the lights and color.

The last two are most definitely my favorites. Would you believe that reflection of the Main Street lights is in a garbage can? It's amazing what you can make work (and be surprised by!) when you don't have a tripod. :)

what you missed part 3: mattel dani

2011-04-25T13:01:00.002-06:00

option 1: i should start teaching digital makeover classes because i’m obviously way too talented to keep it to myself

option 2: my new “you’re only beautiful in photoshop” campaign

option 3: the perfect picture to send to all my missionary friends with zero explanation

option 4: my next business venture— $10 for a misleadingly gorgeous match.com profile picture

i love being surprised by strangers

2011-04-23T22:03:00.002-06:00

today, i was sitting in the library next to someone who looks exactly like this guy:

who, if you didn't know, played sylar on heroes and spock in star treck. so, pretty cool.

anyway.

i had to leave to go eat lunch with marcos (who was so sweet to bring it to me) but i didn't want to pack up all my stuff or leave it there to tempt some thieves. so, i asked sylar/spock if he'd keep an eye on it. he said "yeah, totally!"

and with that, i took off.

well, not 15 minutes later but i see this sylar/spock person walking across campus, having abandoned my stuff! well boy, was i mad. i was so mad i was about to cut open his head with my mind and eat his brains. (if you didn't watch heroes, please ignore that. i'm not as gross and creepy as you might think.) well i huffed and puffed and ran back to my stuff all the while plotting a way i could get him to ask me to watch his things and then i'd leave! HAH! that'll teach him! but then... on my stuff... i found this note:

Dear Mystery Girl Who Asked Me To Watch Her Things,

I got super hungry and have decided to get some food. This unfortunately means I am now unable to watch your things, but fear not. I have left a terrifying note that should be more than sufficient for the people interesting in taking what isn't theirs. Sorry to bail on you like this.

and directly on top of my laptop was this terrifying note:

PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH MY THINGS. I AM A NINJA AND WILL KARATE CHOP YOUR MOUTH OFF.

Thanks,

Ninja

i have decided.... i love people. i wish i knew who this person was because i would probably high-five them every day.

what you missed part 2: our christmas card AKA peace and blessins and borrowed babies

2011-04-23T12:53:00.010-06:00

what you missed part 1: the michael story

2011-04-22T12:50:00.001-06:00

i thought i'd go through and send over a few of my better tumblr posts (there's not many) for those of you who didn't follow my time there (i didn't). this story, for obvious reasons, needed to be told.
again.

QUESTION:
Dani,
I was just wondering if you have ever touched Michael Bolton. I don't mean brushed past like you said in your one post, but I mean like grabbed his arm or touched his hand, or anything more personal like that. So have you?

Asked by Anonymous

ANSWER:
Wow.

Best. Question. Ever.

Seriously… this deserves some kind of award. Preferably a medal with something awesome on it, like a unicorn or robot baby or something. If I knew who asked it, I would make you one… But, well… Just know I’ll love you forever, Anonymous.

As for your question… Sadly, I have not. (I thought I maybe brushed his arm, but I know that’s not true because if I had I would be immortal.) But, luckily for me, I was once so close to his body that I had to go home and take a pregnancy test due the to potent sexuality of his voice.

The story goes like this…

It was a dark evening, and the soft light sparkled on the red rocks that surrounded the beautifully secluded amphitheater. As the lights dimmed and the crowd roared, I felt a surge of pure joy. The moment had finally arrived— the moment when I would see Michael Bolton in person. As the band pumped the crowd for his arrival, tears filled my eyes. I sobbed with joy and exaltation, for I finally saw the most wonderous sight I had ever beheld: Michael feebly maneuvering his aging body into the spotlight. All at once my senses were overwhelmed with the sound of his voice rushing through the land with the power of a sexual tsumani. As he crooned “I Said I Loved You… But I Lied,” I couldn’t help myself. Following Marcos’ lead, I rushed down to the stage in order to get closer to the man whose thinning hair glimmered in the stage lights, whose wrinkled and drooping ears held diamonds as big as walnuts, and whose voice held our hearts. However, the dastardly and cunning elderly women who made up the rest of the crowd used their walkers as weapons and knocked Marcos and I down, beating us to the front of the stage. But our brute strength overpowered their decrepit limbs and we eventually forced them out of our way… And then we realized we were mere feet away from his wine goblet…. Just inches away from his mic stand… So close we could see every weathered wrinkle, the twinkles in his catract-clouded eyes, even close enough to smell the Bengay… And there he was. The only man Marcos would allow me to leave him for— MICHAEL BOLTON, looking right into my eyes and singing “Said I loved you but I lied… ‘Cause this is more than love I feel inside!”

oh blogger

2011-04-21T20:42:00.000-06:00

how i have yearned for my sweet banana colors! i am terrible and i vow never again to leave my sweet bloggy...
SO it's official. i'm back. bananas and colors everywhere can cry with joy because i am, once again, here to represent them forever.

meanwhile....

before finals:

during finals:

(yeah, take a good look at that hotness)

after finals:

yeah. 'cept in florida because WE GOIN TO DISNEY WORLD AND TO THE BAHAMAS.

oh yeah.
but.
anywizzle.
baaaack to studying.

ps. i missed you buddy. *kiss kiss*

goodbye old friend....

2010-07-29T18:53:00.000-06:00

the time has come... blogger and i have decided that while we had a good run, our relationship was just too taxing. we had ups and downs of course, like any relationship does, but in the end we felt like we could probably find someone we were better suited for. besides, it was rocky from the beginning-- the slow picture uploads, the terrible formatting, and the visual ugliness of the whole thing-- but i managed to see past his flaws and we made some beautiful memories. we've been together for over a year now, but we've been drifting apart for months... so in the end we decided to call it quits and we broke up.

i will have to say, i'll miss the familiarity and comfort of being with someone for quite a while, but truth be told... i'm in a new relationship. and it's new and exciting and fresh and simple to use with easy formatting and beautiful layouts and quick uploads and lighting fast update options. so while i'll miss the comfort of coming home and finding blogger waiting for me, i'm overjoyed by the prospect of having my new partner with me anywhere i go. (anytime of day or night, i can text or even call in posts!)

so there you have it.

i've moved in with tumblr.

yes, i know it's fast and sudden and spontaneous. but you know what? we're crazy about each other. you're welcome to come and visit, but just know that banana colors is going to be quite different from now on... but if you can accept me and my new love, we'd love to have you stop on by.

thanks for the memories, blogger. it was fun while it lasted. and who knows? i might come visit every once in a while. but for now.... you can find me here.

looks like dwight schrute has a secret....

2010-07-23T01:47:00.000-06:00

and that secret has been revealed! look who's an mhs grad....

also.

LAGOON FOREVER.

Mason is the MAN

and Marcos' brows look like guardian of the Mayan.

THE END

Joy

2010-07-22T00:53:00.001-06:00

I love my sweet husband...

and I love the temple.

I love its promise that families are forever.

I love my Savior and my Heavenly Father. I love the gospel.

These things are what bring me joy.

(Please... always remember our Father and his Son love you.)

is that you michael???

2010-07-17T16:07:00.000-06:00

so i just noticed on my sidebar feedjitthingamabobber that my blog had a very special visitor:

wa-wa-WHAT??? you guys, i'm 98% sure that michael scott reads my blog. which means he of course reads it to the rest of the office which means that creed bratton knows of banana colors. yes. yes. yes. CREED BRATTON who i aspire to be like with his infinitely wise CREED THOUGHTS.

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!

the signature move

2010-07-14T00:54:00.000-06:00

as seen in line for the astro orbiters in disneyland....
marcos and i were dying. my gracious, these shenanigans went on for a good half an hour and we saw The Move upwards of 50 times. i have to say, it's pretty impressive. i think they're in preparation to become professional wrestlers, so rated r better watch out-- this kid means business!

worst actor of all time award goes to....

2010-07-12T20:14:00.001-06:00

NICOLAS CAGE.

oh, how the hatred courses through my veins. this man is my #1 pet peeve in the world. i hate everything from his inability to create different characters to his LACK OF SIDEBURNS (and beyond):

i mean seriously, what IS that?

anyway, as much as the very mention of his name makes me grate my teeth in anger and pure hatred, this post is dedicated to him. and his crap acting skills. this video is from "the wicker man," a movie i know nothing about (not like i would actually watch anything with him in it) but i do know that the number of times he punches women in the face is astounding. keep track. also, he wears a bear suit....seriously??? what the crap?? anyway, watch this.... it's so awful i almost enjoy it. almost.

the mighty ducks

2010-07-11T14:25:00.005-06:00

(back in the days before the oil spill.)

just look at that! it's like a scene from a movie... all the birds flocking to us.

we've officially lived in the sugarhouse area for over a month now. we absolutely love it, but our favorite thing to do was go for walks in the park. (what are we, 80?) we'd feed the ducks (they listen to our stories) and try and get them to hold still for pictures (just like our grandchildren.)

unfortunately, there's been an oil spill in our lovely park (these pictures were actually taken the day before, i believe) and many of these adorable little duckies won't be returning from hogle zoo. :( the ones that did survive were covered and dripping in oil.... so sad. anyway, here's some pictures from our last day in the park with our beloved little birdies. hopefully mark crane can get all the oil out, our birds will return, and our park will be completely open again.

aren't these guys so adorable?

these ducks have some serious attitude... this one is sticking his tongue out at chevron...

and this one is totally mooning them!

so, cross your fingers (or give one to chevron) that our park will return.... because without our daily exercise we've been aging even more. all i think about is knitting patterns and what to do with all this extra bread i have lying around.

the disney dream

2010-06-29T00:48:00.007-06:00

huzzah! whoop! holler!

the disneyland pictures are making their debut. (that just turned your whole day around, didn't it?)

two things of note: yes, those shorts are back. and the form on that jump should qualify me for the olympics.

a cross-eyed first ride of the day. we were immediately ill.

BIG THUNDER!!

outside the exclusive'N'elusive Club 33 . we met a great 33 waiter who told us fun celebrity stories. he even gave us pens that had the 33 crest on them! jackpot!

cruisin' the vard on autopia.

the love of my life.... THE MATTERHORN.

check it out! a nun!

riding the matterhorn and trumpeting his love of simba.

in line for alice and wonderland:

marcos: "ew gross, why is it an old woman?"

danielle: "honey! that is so rude... she's right there. she can hear you."

marcos: "no... the cars."

danielle: ".....those are caterpillars."

marcos: "oh.... well.... they look the same."

in front of our numba onez! mattahorn and big thunda 4evs.

captain eo!

outside of walt's apartment above the firehouse and by flower mickey and the disneyland railroad main station.

this was after i accidentally walked into the mens restroom and saw a man going at the urinal.... the experience was so traumatizing it gave me crazy gary busey eyes.

sweet rat tail braid! obi wan would be proud.

as this post is long enough with the plentiful plethora of pictures, many glorious stories will follow at a later post. in short the trip was spectacularly spontaneous, wildly wonderful, and fantastically fun. we're already counting the days until we can go back. :)

xoxo

gossip girl

ps. you can see our pictures from last year here and here.

a small preview of a world of pure imagination

2010-06-18T00:26:00.002-06:00

we have a plethora of pictures, some vivacious videos, and some hoochie holgas to share! practice oohing and ahhing with this preview!

in approximately 56 days...

2010-06-14T15:41:00.002-06:00

i will officially no longer be a teenager and you will have an excuse to buy me this.

i can't imagine anything better than curling up with this fuzzy mustachioed pillow and dreaming of waterfalls, selleck, and sandwiches and lists of delicious things.

proof marcos doesn't take school seriously.

2010-06-11T21:41:00.001-06:00

(As many of you know, last week Marcos and I felt the urge to go to the happiest place on earth... Disneyland. We decided for sure we were going on Monday and we left early Tuesday morning. It was beyond words awesome and so much fun-- we have some great pictures and stories to share-- but since we're tired and have a lot of pictures to sort through, we'll share this little realization/story we came up with during the 12 hour car trip in the meantime.)

Marcos recently finished his first year of college (Yay! Hip hip! Congratulatory comments!) and upon completion, we realized that he never once took an assignment seriously. Not saying he didn’t try or anything like that, but that he just took every assignment and bedazzled if with his own special flair…. In other words, he “Marcos-ized” it. (insert Mia groaning “GROSS!” here.)

It was like whenever the teacher stood before the class and gave the assignment, Marcos’ rose-colored glasses transformed every task into an opportunity to preach the good word of Michael’s music.

Exhibit A:

Reality: Instuctor (in droning “Bueller…. Bueller”-type voice.): Alright, class. Please read pages 350-485 on human sexuality and write an analysis for the next class.

What Marcos Hears: Instructor (a Muppet Fat Albert): Ah-hey-hey-hey ladies and gentlemen! Please glance over the book and then watch Billy Ocean and Michael Bolton music videos on youtube and write an analysis on their potent sexuality!

Exhibit B:

A List of Assignments Marcos Didn’t Take Seriously Throughout the Year

Assignment: Write an observation paper.

Examples: writing about what you see in nature, observe people at a library or park, feed soup to the homeless and write about their grateful reaction, etc.
What Marcos did: Wrote a paper called “Crazy Antics for Crazy Bread,” a lengthy description of the Little Ceasar’s sign holder down the street. Highlights included a description of his mind-bending dance moves (one being holding his ankle above his head, hopping on the other foot, and spinning the sign at the same time), his Walkman cassette player (while everyone else has advanced on to the iPod or even portable cd players, this man was holding strong to his grey brick of a music player) and a description of the flowing mullet that cascaded out of his cap.

Assignment: Write a paper on something that’s negative and turn it into something positive.
Examples: Natural disasters give people a chance to renew and rebuild their community, global warming will kill the polar bears but bears are the #1 threat to America so this is fighting terrorism, etc.
What Marcos Did: Wrote a paper detailing why honking is a good thing to do. Not because it teaches careless drivers a lesson, but instead should be used as a way to say “Hey. I like your Le Baron” or “I love the way that stereo system is rattling my car 3 lanes over” or “what a nice nose ring you have.”

Assignment: Introduce someone that’s alive.
What Marcos Did: Gave a 2-minute speech full of blatant lies about “the vocal chord of society,” Michael Bolton. Details included a story of his orphaned childhood and a moment when he saw a shooting star and vowed to be as bright as that star streaking across the sky, that he won People magazine’s “Hair of the Year Award” for the past 30 consecutive years, and explained the scientific reasoning behind why just hearing Michael’s voice can impregnate a fertile woman.

Assignment: A persuasive power point presentation.
Examples: Why you should vote Republican, why you should volunteer, why you should be prepared for natural disasters, etc.
What Marcos did: Why you should watch crappy movies. Highlights were fun facts about Gary Busey, scenes from Omega Cop, Troll 2, and Quigley, and why Ron Marchini is one of the greatest humans ever. A significant line was “If James Cameron made low-budget movies, Titanic would be a toy boat sinking in a bathtub and Avatar would be the blue man group on stilts running through someone’s backyard.” Also note these hysterical lines bombed to the point of crickets from the audience.

Assignment: Write your own eulogy.
What Marcos did: Wrote a eulogy from his children’s (Carlton and Topanga Chard) perspective. The cause of death was heartbreak and loss of will to live… Marcos passed away just seconds after Michael Bolton because he could sense the lack of beauty in the world and no longer cared to live in it despite his wife still being alive.

The list goes on, but other standouts were “how to make a great playlist” in which he showed a video of Neil Diamond sprinting up some stairs and referred to him as a ‘spry old man’ and had the class clap and sing in unison to “we’re comin’ to America,” a how-to on how to receive unemployment benefits, and a critical evaluation on Leo Buscaglia in which he found nothing to criticize.

Amazingly enough, Marcos received rave reviews for all of his assignments and passed his classes with flying colors. So next time you’re struggling to think of a deep and meaningful thesis or paper topic, look no further than the blast-from-the-past sign holder next door.

the obsession has obviously gotten out of control...

2010-06-04T00:23:00.001-06:00

1. Marcos and I finally got Netflix. (it rules.)
2. We've rated all sorts of movies we like/love/loathe in order to get great suggestions.
3. It lists movies we'd like by genre. Indie stunners, witty comedies, suspenseful thrillers, etc. All very specific but pretty generic suggestions.... until I saw....
4. ....what you see below. Oh Netflix, you know me so well. I have an obsession. Someone help me.

better late than never!

2010-05-25T19:33:00.002-06:00

Many happy and joyous birthday wishes for my dearest friend Mario! I sorted through the endless numbers of pictures of us together and pulled some of my favorites. Love ya man!

Tagonator

2010-05-07T23:40:00.002-06:00

Many glorious thanks to Erica for thinking of me and tagging me for this list. I also want to apologize publicly for the awkward moment I created at the Weeb-Dawg graduation when I snuck (sneaked? really?) up behing her and pinched her butt so she'd think there was some pervy creeper. It totally backfired and she turned around and caught me mid-squeeze... Anyway, I'm glad she forgave me and tagged me for this!

Things On My Wish List

1. That fabulous apartment we found in SLC which is far too expensive but very, very lovely
2. A dishwasher
3. A slightly unnerving collection of ceramic unicorn statues
4. The ability to, without guilt or without being caught, shoplift anything I wanted......

Shows I Watch

1. 30 Rock
2. The Office
3. ANTM
4. Glee

Things I'm Passionate About

1. Marquitos
2. Sunny afternoons with the Holga
3. Michael Bolton
4. My creative outlets (jewelry, headbands, designs, etc.)

Phrases I Say A Lot

1. "Gah-ross!"
2. "Hi, this is Danielle from Clearstone Windows..."
3. The number 37... not sure why, but I always use that number. (Example: "I've called them like 37 million times" or "We already have 37 boxes of cereal, we don't need to buy more" or "You are 37 seconds away from getting a spanking!")
4. "That's what she said!"

Things I've Learned From The Past

1. Don't eat popcorn chicken and cheetos together, it makes for a Crappy Food Day
2. Know what Fiber One bars are before you eat 37 of them.
3. Throw away any Blues Traveler cds in your husband's collection as he will try to force you to love that crap-band by listening to them all the time.
4. Don't trust your husband when he says "I just want to help out and you should dictate your blog post and I'll type it" as he adds awkward comments about spankings.

Places I Want To Go

1. France
2. Spain
3. Disneyland
4. Michael Bolton's bedroom

Things I Did Yesterday

1. Went to work
2. Played an original Nintendo
3. Holga'd around Lehi
4. Tried to get into Liberty Land and failed

Things I'm Looking Foward To

1. Liberty Land opening
2. Getting a different apartment
3. Disneyland
4. My hair being long again

Things I Love About Winter

1. Hot chocolate
2. Sledding
3. Layering (patterned tights, scarves, etc.)
4. .....I don't like Winter....

Anyway, so there you have it! Knowing my secret desire to be a criminal, my creepy fascination with unicorns, and my insistence that multiple perverted Michael Bolton comments be included made your life, I'm sure.

As for those I tag, I'm pretty sure Mia got them all. Marce! Wendy! Abby! Emily! GO!

well well well...

2010-05-05T21:07:00.001-06:00

i opened up my computer and it looks like michael left me a little note...

fyi

2010-05-02T18:15:00.001-06:00

marcos and i had quite the adventure a little while ago when we were craving chinese food on our date night. (hysterical movie, btw.) we'd never been to pei wei before but we heard it was good.... but we wished we had been warned about a few things.

in order to save you from the embarrassing spectacle we put ourselves through, here's a list of things you should know.

1. when you go to pei wei please read the menu carefully.

(it's one of those places where you stand in front of the whole restaurant looking at the enormous menus posted on the wall and everyone else in the line is staring you down with judgmental eyes and hissing "just choose already!" and poking voodoo dolls with our faces on them because they're hungry and we're taking a long time. going there was a bad decision as marcos and i are extremely indecisive people and have a hard time making quick decisions. the kind of pressure this system puts on you is not conducive to making smart choices. you end up just pointing and yelling "that!" so the other patrons stop harassing you. )

2. note that the lettuce wraps are not priced by each one you order. that's the spring rolls right below it on the list, (self, start wearing your glasses.) also note that ordering "two lettuce wraps" is foolish. they're not like egg rolls. they're like platters that serve 37 people. each.
this is too much food by itself... let alone when each of us orders a plate that is large enough to be shared by a family of 4.

3. start questioning your order when the girl says, "mmmm, somebody must be hungry!"

how silly we were... little did we know it would take a small army to bring us the mass amounts of food we unknowingly demanded. once our sweet waitress (who referred to me as mia farrow the entire time) starting hauling it out, we just had to laugh. everyone was staring-- it was shocking two people were about to consume so much fried/soy sauced/lettuce wrapped goodness. what made it worse is that they sat us at a large table... i think they assumed we were ordering for a group and that they just never came.

so there we were, the losers whose friends flaked out and were left with enough chinese food to feed the BFG... we can only hope this doesn't happen to you.

2010-05-01T12:30:00.003-06:00

we like it here....

... but we really miss cali. :(

asian mason

2010-04-30T12:23:00.000-06:00

foxy SHAZAM

2010-04-24T12:46:00.001-06:00

I should be prepping for finals. I really, really should as everything's due in just a few days and I have some (I'm lying. all of it.) left to do. But since I've been working on it for the past, oh, 7 years-- I needed to take a break.

Most of all, I needed a good laugh.

Who do I know I can turn to for a hearty chuckle? A boisterous guffaw? A lively chortle? A snicker? A snort? A howl a roar a giggle a grin a titter or a whoop?

The answer-- every time-- is FOXY SHAZAM.

They're like Under the Influence of Giants with about 2 extra doses of cheese and a pinch of ~~lame~~ awesome. But just enough to create the ultimate should-have-been-around-in-the-70s band that is right up my alley.

I guess in a way this is a contructive and beneficial waste of my time because they make me think. Really, really think.....But I still can't figure them out.

Are they serious with this stuff? Those dance moves? The facial hair? Those creepy faces?
And sheesh, I can't pick which video is weirder. I mean, freckles drawn on his face? Playing the piano with your toes? WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE DOING?

And you may think I'm nuts, but if you close your eyes (because the video is too weird/scary/hilarious to notice anything else) the music's really not bad. It's a mix of Louis XIV and UTIOG. So not awful.

I just can't read them... Anyone out there have any enlightening thoughts on the subject?

2010-04-21T19:03:00.001-06:00

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

oh, hell.

2010-03-23T23:24:00.002-06:00

first, let me say--

this post had good intentions. truly, it did.

i never meant to sit down and ruin your love for a wonderfully (delicious) actor.

but, alas, it's happening again-- i stumbled (in an unrelated search) upon another doozy.

i think he's asking for it....

oh, ewan. why do you do this??

jeez, louise. i adore this man, but this really isn't helping. how does he get talked into things like this anyway? seriously! when is posing with your pasty, soft body in a kilt with one leg up in the air or lounging in a creepy 70's porn star way on a throne EVER good?

ewan, please. in the name of "are you there, god? it's me, margaret"-- STOP.

what is the colour of love?

2010-03-19T07:52:00.004-06:00

for gabriel, on his birthday--
i present to you a "get out of jail free!" card!
at any time in your life that you are in trouble with marce, simply quote from this song to turn her legs into jelly and little hearts to float above your head. she will instantly forgive you and bake you a large cake as a reward for your warm and tender words. use it wisely, my friend, and it will bless your marriage for the eternities.

The Colour of Love-- by Billy Ocean
Ooh ooh ooh
If I had to paint a picture
To show the world how love can really be
I would use the brightest colours
To create a vision of harmony
It would be a reality
'Cause it's only what's inside of my heart
You would see I've always loved you right from the very start

Tell me what is the colour of love?
What do you see?
Is it warm, is it tender, when you think of me?
I see the colour of love when I'm thinking of you
As a picture perfect painting of love forever true

The colours of the rainbow turn grey whenever you're so far away
It changes like the seasons
You're the reason it happens that way
What you see are the colors of emotion
Reflecting what I feel deep inside
Now I'd like to take a look at the emotions that you hide

Tell me what is the colour of love?

What do you see?

Is it warm, is it tender, when you think of me?

I see the colour of love when I'm thinking of you

As a picture perfect painting of love forever true

And oh though many may try to keep us apart

Oh the colours that I see in you will shine a light to see us through

No matter what the world will do I'll always love you

Ooh ooh ooh

Oh, tell me what is the colour of love?

What do you see?

Is it warm, is it tender, when you think of me?

I see the colour of love when I'm thinking of you

As a picture perfect painting of love forever true

On a side note, if simply saying the lines doesn't work (you really must have done something terrible then) hold up a picture of Billy as you croon it. How can she be mad at this shark of a man?

happy birthday, gabs.
(i'll accept my thanks in cash or check.)

for all of you who wanna clean house...

2010-03-11T21:44:00.000-07:00

.... best date song ever.

how about them oscars?

2010-03-09T13:28:00.000-07:00

I think Marcos said it best with his facebook status:

You'd think they'd make sure they save a little time to at least make the unveiling of the biggest award suspenseful, wouldn't you? But no-- they had to rush it and kill the moment so they could play their 13 minute long credits.

Did you see Ben Stiller and his creeptastic Avatar impression? I personally was terrified. Seriously. His eyes were pointing in different directions! I think James Cameron was about to use his magical powers (I know he has them. To have the top 2 grossing movies of all time? The man is hypnotizing us.) to turn the audience against him so they'd rush the stage and rip his blue makeuped self apart.

But I do have to admit... The whole "psjdie JamesCameronKingoftheWorld askldje kdjei" part was funny.

But overall I am very bitter about many of the awards. -- hence the posting. This blog is obviously VERY influential and the academy will see their mistakes and immediately retract the winnings and award them to the correct people.-- Because how can you NOT give an oscar to this lovely lady??

Seriously! She has a "Jane Seberg" haircut-- the very same woman I modeled my hair after! And, raddest of all, she has tiny little utensils all over her dress! I don't know about you, but this translates to AWESOME in my mind. Yes! SHE IS SO COOL! (My obsession with 'an education' continues. I'm scared.) Also, my high hopes for a Sarsgaard sighting were dashed as he SHAVED HIS HEAD AND IT WAS SHINING LIKE A LUCKY NICKEL.

So. Gross.

So, overall, the night reeked of lameosity and crapness.

But that's just my educated opinion.

Also, on another topic, I've been thinking a lot about why I have this blog. (One of life's great questions.) I've determined that because I have an overwhelming need to say every thought that pops into my head -and it drives people nuts if you actually do that- so rather than bother every person I come in contact with, I just type it up and send it into cyberspace.

Which makes me curious.

Why do you guys blog? All you Chards have them... is it just to keep each other updated? Or do you, like me, do it so your brain doesn't explode with all these pent up thoughts?

Oh, and to close.

36 days until Michael Bolton in concert.

59 days until Iron Man 2.

seen around town

2010-03-02T12:58:00.000-07:00

to the tween who left her panties in the entrance to target:

you know, i'd really love for you to explain to me how in the world this happens.. i could understand losing a coat or a can of beans or even a small child.

but panties? i just have a feeling that somehow you'd notice. but perhaps it's like when the elastic snaps in an old woman's pantyhose. we've all seen it... they're shuffling along, the sound of elastic snapping rings through the air like a gunshot, and next thing you know, there's a bunch of tan wrinkles around their ankles. They sigh, step out of them, and carry on because they've got bigger things to worry about. after all, we're going into the depression 2.0 and their experience will allow them to survive it better than the rest of us. they're already breeding cats for their food source.

but to have this jaded attitude at 13? i just don't know... kids these day and their mtv.

i tell ya, it's that slutty miley cyrus' fault.

WAAAHOOOO!

2010-02-24T16:51:00.001-07:00

Oh my goodness gracious great balls of fire! I am so ecstatic right now!

First, I should tell you that one of my absolute favorite blogs to lurk is jenloveskev. It's written by a teacher that has the most wonderful sense of fashion and she writes about all about her husband, their daily lives, and her daily style files. She is just adorable and looks uncannily like my friend Paige, it's crazy-- anyway. I stalk her blog all the time and I do feel a bit creepy, but it looks like my antics have paid off!

She recently had a giveaway from rollandtumblepress , a radical etsy shop that does hand letter pressing to make some really beautiful posters. They were offering my absolute favorite of all their prints, so naturally I peed my pants a little and immediately entered.

And....

I WON!

I was so excited when I saw it that I screamed, jumped up, and promptly spilled my glass of water all over my computer. But I don't CARE because this beauty will soon be mine and making our apartment look positively fabulous!

party in the usa!

2010-02-24T15:20:00.005-07:00

So since the last couple of posts have been solid pictures and Disneyland jabber, I thought I'd break it up with pictures from a more recent adventure. I present to you....

with mom and pop follett!

So Marcos and I had the wonderful idea to head on over to LASERQUEST and play a round of laser tag with my parents! We are obviously very excited and good looking.

Luckily we still had a disposable camera with some pictures that we brought along to document the adventure.

Marcos playing "BIG BUCK HUNTER" in the arcade lounge as we waited for the game before ours to finish up.

I loved playing the game, but I was a horrendous hunter. I put my country bumpkin upbringing to shame!

Mom and her southern hillbilly ways rocked the hunting... Just brings back fond memories of hunting down dinner in the Appalachian Mountains!

My father is INCREDIBLE. The timer beeped to go, the gun was up and firing, and the deer was down. All in .98 seconds. Seriously! It was amazing.

Marcos and I fighting the thugs and villains in Area 51... Bruce Willis style.

CODENAME: SAMURAI

CODENAME: REDNECK

CODENAME: BABY HUNTER

CODENAME: FIRE PONY!

We ended up playing with... wait for it... an 8 year old girl's birthday party. That's right.

Their code names were things like "marshmallow" and "dragonfly" and we swooped in a demolished them.

This is Marcos flexing after we hunted down their little baby butts to show off his mad skillz.

We conquered laser quest!

Marcos celebrating the children's defeat by belting the Rocket Summer on the way home.

So there it is! Our triumphant excursion at Laser Quest. How do you feel after that onslaught of radical pictures??

secui duos

2010-02-21T17:53:00.008-07:00

Okay, everyone, OKAY. Don't come busting down our door, we're putting the pictures up as fast as we can! We know you've all been anxiously checking your computers all day for this exciting installment, and the time has come! Wait no longer, for our wild adventure continues!

(On the Tower of Terror)

D: Please note that terrifying little girl next to me. I SWEAR she is straight out of a horror movie! I thought my life was over and she's not even phased. Just look at her! ....freak.

M: People are laughing, smiling, enjoying each others company... And then there was me. Holding on to Danielle so tight her white skin grew to an invisible white from lack of circulation.

M: Welcome to Tomorrowland, folks!

D: First stop on the first day! (We're only going back in October in the middle of the week. Look how empty it is! Longest line in the whole park was a whopping 30 minutes.)

M: I captured this shot without Danielle even knowing!

D: Everything was totally decked out in the Halloween decorations. Even the parking lot/tram area! No one knows how to do things like Disney.

D: On Buzz Lightyear's ride... Half carnival ride and half laser tag!

M: It was on this ride that I realized everyone-- from ages 5 to 95-- truly turn into little children at Disney.

D: That's right! We saw some middle aged cowboys getting into this game. It was great! They were more intense than we are in that action shot up there!

M: Also, unfortunately, on one of our last rounds of this ride we ended up sitting in front of a drunken coward and I had to hold myself back from lasering his eyes out!

D: Just look at that constipation! Oops, I mean concentration!

M: Not two seconds after this photo was taken, Danielle pulled the sword from the stone, Merlin the Magical flew down and she accidentally stabbed him.

D: And that was the end of King Arthur and his round table.

M: You experience everything at Disneyland.

D: Marcos was obviously very enthused by Mike and Sully.

M: No comment.

D: I didn't even know it was possible to NOT smile in Disneyland!

D: Me, striking it ANTM style in a phone booth in California Adventure.

M: What pose! What style! What a model!

D: So there I was, holding a disposable camera up, just waiting for that moment when Marcos exited the bathroom. And there they were, all the people, thinking "who is that pervert?"

M: This picture was taken after I had just finished one of the best rides Disneyland has to offer. Who had churros for lunch? I did! Oops.... TMI.... Moving on!

D: .... so sick.... so sick.

M: If you look closely, you can see the blood of the Magician spattered on the concrete. For some reason, Danielle thought it funny to put the sword back in the stone after she pulled it out.

D: Me and my BFF, Knight in Rusty Armor.

M: What a stony, almost uncanny resemblance to Sean Connery in "First Knight!"

D: Ugh.... That outfit. MY EYES! THEY BURN!

M: You just don't understand the stylistic power and prowess of Blues Clues stripes combined with flame orange hibiscus swim suit trunks!

D: I'll tell you what I understand-- that I need to do the packing from now on!

"Tender Moments With Tigger"

October, 2009

D: Oh, Rick Moranis! You shrunk us again!

M: Included in this film was an enormous 3-D python and I was scared out of my mind.

D: Luckily we snapped this shot right as the aliens attempted to beam us up!

So there it is, folks! Part two. Be sure to let us know what you think of these.... and then you can come back for more!

it's TIME!

2010-02-20T22:16:00.013-07:00

So folks, it's finally time! Marcos and I finally developed our plethora of disposable cameras from our Disneyland trip. So, 4 months later, it's like we went to Disneyland all over again! We present to you......

The pictures, which are in no particular order, will include commentary from the stars themselves-- Marcos and I! You lucky dogs.

D: Us on Autopia! Those drivers licenses are in our wallets.. they're WAY more important than the ones issued by the state of Utah.

M: Yikes! That is one horrendous part in my hair.

D: How adorable! (In the background, some chick was giving us the stinkeye. You better believe we went Jersey Shore on her fat butt!)

M: Circa 1978?

D: Matterhorn forever!

M: Pure excitement-- pure thrill.

D: GROSS!

D: Picture of Walt, Mickey, and guests from the Disney vault. When was this taken? 1970?

M: Dani has that stance down pat.

D: Gettin' some on Main Street, USA!

M: I couldn't help but do the 'leg pop' as well.

D: Marcos 'Rick Rollin' the barbershop quartet. I love the guy in the front. He's totally like, "What the crap, dude? You're stealing our thunder!"

M: I'd left my matching outfit at home.

D: There were Asian tourists taking pictures of us as we did this. We're so beautiful they must have thought we were stars.

M: Oh yeah. Takes real muscles to lift something that large. Shout out to my Asian friends!

D: Look! We found a Hidden Mickey!

M: Token Death Eater in the bottom right of the picture.

M&D: DE CHARDS!

D: This is right after we finished our gymnastic routine.

M: I remember the photographer loved our enthusiasm.

D: "Simba! King of Pride Rock! AAAAAAH SABEN YAAAA! CHABADA BEECH E BA DAH!"

M: Somewhere, James Earl Jones is smiling.

D: Put some back into it, son!

M: Clearly it was too late in the day for my muscles to handle this.

D: Gilmore Girls meets Toon Town? And WHAT is with those crossed legs??

M: Taking it back old school when I used to take my presidential elementary school photos.

D: Cruisin' the vard in Toon Town!

M: I had the best "atti-TOON" ever!

D: Oh, the hair. The eyes. The glowing white skin. The fact this looks like you're photoshopped in. Could it get more awkward?

M: No comment.

D: On the Tea Cups. As this picture was being taken, a creepy laughing man in a top hat was yelling at us to look up at the lights as we spun... And then he demonstrated. Very uncomfortable. (But then we tried it... He's right, it's trippy.)

M: What isn't understood when first seeing this photo is that in all reality, we were going 50 mph in spinning tea cups. SPINNING. TEA CUPS.

So, that's all for now! Tell us what you think-- we love to hear your thoughts and funny comments! :) That is just a tiny portion of all the pictures we have and we'll be posting the rest over the next couple of days, so you better buckle your boot straps and prepare yourself for some more GOOD TIMES and CHEESY COMMENTARY, because it's coming your way!

greatest film of my life!

2010-02-11T17:56:00.009-07:00

GO SEE AN EDUCATION.

It is one of the greatest movies I have ever seen. Seriously!

Everything about it was a simple perfection-- nothing was overdone.

Does that make sense? I mean, some movies, however great they are, rely on special effects. It's really refreshing to see a movie that is so good because they're truly great storytellers/filmmakers/actors/etc, not because a special effects team came in and spruced things up.

To give you a basic idea of what the movie is about, here's the summary:

"It's 1961 and attractive, bright 16-year-old schoolgirl, Jenny is poised on the brink of womanhood. Stifled by the tedium of adolescent routine, Jenny can't wait for adult life to begin. One rainy day, her suburban life is upended by the arrival of an unsuitable suitor, 30- ish David. Urbane and witty, David introduces Jenny to a glittering new world of classical concerts and late-night suppers. Just as the family's long-held dream of getting their brilliant daughter into Oxford seems within reach, Jenny is tempted by another kind of life. Will David be the making of Jenny or her undoing?"

I know, I know. It sounds creepy, right? Just trust me on this one-- it's not. I went into it all freaked out and expecting some nasty story about some pervy old man and his womanizing ways. But seriously, it's beautiful. You fall in love with the idea of these two together.

Oh, and please please PLEASE don't look up anything about the movie. Not on wiki, not on imdb, not anything. It tells you the whole story. And trust me, it's so wonderful to watch it unfold-- don't ruin this for yourself.

But if you must know... It's been nominated for 3 Oscars. (Best Picture, Best Actress, and Best Adaptation of a Screenplay.)

And..... Ebert gave it 4 stars. Oh yes. This movie is GOLDEN!

Anyway.

I loved it... Just in case you didn't catch that already.

But seriously-- everything about this movie is wonderful. It's this little indie film that started at Sundance last year and has really gained serious recognition. (for good reason!)

Everything about the film is so beautiful and visually inspiring. The locations, the costuming, the cinematography, the lighting-- ALL of it is stunning.

The actors are incredible. The girl who plays Jenny, Carey Mulligen, is pretty much becoming this breakout sensation thanks to this movie. She's been compared to Audrey Hepburn, and I totally see it. She's divine! Oh, and Peter Sarsgaard is I-N-C-R-E-D-I-B-L-E. He's phenomenal! I want to go see every movie he's ever been in. He plays the part perfectly and just charms your face off. (and he totally reminds me of Ewan... amaaahzing.)

The story is (obviously) very unique. It's not often that you see a love story about a 30 year old man courting a teenager that makes you want to root for them. But this really does! You just want to cry because they are so perfect.

The soundtrack.... in a word... glorious. (I'll let it speak for itself- I'm including a video of one of the songs written for the film at the end of the post.)

And I could go on and on and on, but I'm terrible at reviews and I'm not doing it justice, so just please watch it, okay?

So here are a few pictures from the movie so you can see what I mean about how beautiful it is.

This is a song written and performed by Duffy for this movie-- so amazing! I can't stop listening.

So anyway, I hope you go see it and that you love it as much as I did. But I think you will. :)

That said, I'm trying to find a time in my schedule when I can sneak off and see it a few more times... Because who needs school when you can immerse yourself in good movies? Right? Right?

Someone back me up on this....

i feel a little awkward.

2010-02-09T13:34:00.010-07:00

So this is not actually the post I intended to write when I sat down.

I began with every intention of writing about "An Education"

and the absolute perfection that move was. (I will still post about that someday. It's positively wonderful and deserves a post all its own. Watch the trailer here.)

Anyway!

I was thinking about the movie which I will go and see at least 17 more times, and how much Peter Sarsgaard reminds me of Ewan McGregor, and those thoughts led to "I'm going to look up their pictures, put them next to each other in the post, and go 'ahhhh they r so KEWL!'" and admire them and shout over and over

"GO SEE THE MOVIE!"

So I searched for a picture of Ewan McGregor... and I stumbled upon this beauty. And my heart soared with the glorious awkwardness that defines this picture.

Oh, and I think the best part about is the caption that went with it:

"English badass Ewan McGregor."

While this is true, 'badass' isn't exactly the word that comes to mind when I see a man posing in a kilt... however cool kilts may be.

No offense, Ewan.... Buddy...

BRILLIANT!

2010-02-06T00:33:00.004-07:00

So Marquitos and I received our complete season of "I'm With Busey" we bought off of e-bay today in the mail.

(it is so super sketch-- it's just a single burned disk, no case, with "I'm With Busey" written on it.)

For those of you who may not know, Gary Busey is an incredible actor who is also 137% certifiably nuts.

And the best part is he sincerely believes everything he is saying.

Basically, the show follows Adam, a huge Busey fan, as he spends his time withBusey to learn about his philosophy.

This particular segment is so funny I thought my eyeballs were going to fall out of my head because I was laughing so daggum hard.

Basically, Gary is pitching his idea for a

"ROADKILL COOKBOOK"

to his publisher, complete with pictures of roadkill, actual roadkill, and ideas for a roadkill baby mobile.

Watch and enjoy the brilliance.

pure magic.

2010-02-04T23:43:00.002-07:00

i sincerely have no words...

this was the most beautiful little film and story i have ever seen.

i hope you love it as much as i do.

A SHORT LOVE STORY IN STOP MOTION from Carlos Lascano on Vimeo.

little letters

2010-02-01T20:34:00.005-07:00

dear people who yell at girls who want to wash your windows,
you are really mean. i assure you, my life does not revolve around making you miserable like you think it does. no matter how hard i try, it still sorta hurts my feelings when you yell/say mean things/hang up on me. please don't do that.

dear clearstone windows,
i love working with you. who else is cool enough to let me make my own hours and pick the pizza toppings?

dear westminster,
please get more parking. i looked for 20 minutes today and ended up parking several blocks away. BOOO.

dear forever young shoes,
thank you for your fantastic shoe sale. radical shoes for $6? yes, please!

dear 90.9 fm,
i love you! thank you for playing regina/sufjan/the kooks/everything i love for me every morning on the long drive to school.

dear state of utah,
$90 for going 5 mph over the speed limit? you suck!

dear cop who pulled me over,
that goes for you, too.

dear the bachelor,
i don't know why i love you, but you really are so entertaining it's scary.

dear spanish,
can you please get less confusing? that'd help a lot. thanks.

dear world,
i really like you. :)

DELICIOUS things

2010-01-31T00:07:00.010-07:00

new year, new pearls of wisdom

2010-01-29T13:31:00.003-07:00

If I wrote a love ballad set to trumpets and country western music, I would dedicate it to
Jack Handey and Gary Busey.
I honestly feel that they are the Albert Einsteins of our time, but no one really
listens to what they say.
Just look at them!

Because my love for them is so ridonkulous in it's size, I'll just be listing some of my favorite Jack Handey today. Yes, it will be about 30,000 pages long, but I had fun looking them upSOTHERE.

May the Laughter Commence!

If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say "How do you figger that!" real loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk.

Contrary to what most people would say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It’s a shark riding on an elephant’s back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

When this girl at the art museum asked me whom I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder. Then she left. I guess she went to try to find some mayonnaise for me.

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling school, I think one of the courses should be laughing, then jumping off something.

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say, "That's dynamite, baby."

How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak.

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.

Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it "dull" that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it didn't seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it? You call that dull?

If you're at Thanksgiving dinner, but you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you're eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you're out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, "Boy, these are good cigars!"

BOO! BOOOOO!

2010-01-28T17:00:00.005-07:00

NO ONE CARES WE'RE GOING TO MICHAEL BOLTON.

So..

TO HELL WITH ALL OF YA!

(Note- Wendy and Gabby, you are excluded as you are the only ones who actually loves us.)

But yes. We are very, very upset that no one gives a flying rat's nether regions that we are are going to be having the greatest day of our lives in April.

So BOOO. BOOOOOO!

2010-01-19T22:59:00.002-07:00

I am sickened... From yahoo.com:

"By now, most of us have seen and heard about the profound devastation and suffering wrought upon Haiti last week after a massive earthquake. So you'd probably think there's no way that cruising tourists could have returned to frolicking on Haiti's beaches mere miles from where people are trapped beneath the rubble of a decimated city. Unfortunately, you'd be wrong.

On Sunday, the Guardian reported that Florida-based Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines is docking ships at the "picturesque wooded peninsula" known as Labadee, which it leases on Haiti's northern coast. At Labadee, passengers "enjoy jetski rides, parasailing, and rum cocktails delivered to their hammocks." The British paper also reported that passengers can spend their time "shopping for trinkets at a craft market" while armed guards stand at the entry to the complex to guarantee their safety.

Despite the fact that the ships have delivered relief supplies to the island, some passengers on the ships are reportedly "sickened" over the decision to dock there. One passenger took to an Internet message board to protest the idea of vacationing where "tens of thousands of dead people are being piled up on the streets, with the survivors stunned and looking for food and water.""

a dream is a wish your heart makes...

2010-01-12T00:41:00.012-07:00

and our hearts have been dreaming of this day since the powers of the egyptian gods brought together the dusts of humanity and formed

MICHAEL BOLTON.

ladies and gentlemen, i have no words.
all i can say is that our every dream has come true.

Michael.
We'll be seeing you April 14, 2010 in Ivins, Utah!

Enjoy the video that is overflowing with the on-stage sensuality we will soon be overwhelmed with....

this video is too much to handle. who knew so much greatness could be contained in one man?
the synchronized guitar dancing in the background ... leaves me speechless in wonderment.

ps. I will surely catch his eye in my stunning michael bolton nightie, courtesy of wendy! you bet your bottom dollar, i'm even wearing it right now in preparation.

to send out 2009 properly...

2009-12-31T17:31:00.000-07:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

in honor of 2009...

2009-12-31T16:04:00.003-07:00

I will list 2,009 things that happened to me this year!

.... just kidding. :) But honestly, this year has been so eventful. I look back at everything that has happened and I can't imagine a year more chock full of life changing events!

In 2009, I:

-got engaged to the greatest boy in the world

-finished my freshman year/started my sophomore year of college

-moved out of the dorms (hooray!)

-went through the temple

-married marky

-moved to our apartment in sandy

-had a lot of interviews for jobs i didn't get..

and then randomly walked into a jewelry store, asked for

a job, and got one

-turned 19

-went to DISNEYLAND on a spectacular road trip

-celebrated our first christmas/marcos' birthday as a married couple

SO! Lots of crazy, crazy things... and this is just the tip of the iceberg!

My question for your is....

How did 2009 change your life?

I'd love to hear all about it! :)

Happy 2010!

oh, christmas tree!

2009-12-20T15:15:00.010-07:00

merry merry merry christmas!

oh, happy days, christmas has finally arrived. i absolutely love christmastime, so i was so excited we finally had a minute to decorate.

we were out christmas shopping and marcos found a little guy he just couldn't resist bringing home.

that's right, honeynut has returned in the form of our stocking!

we didn't have a mantle, so we had to find a substitution.

we'd like to think thats it's a snowman.

we went to target and found this adorable little tree on sale for a whopping $15!

we couldn't resist, so we decided to bring her home.

she lost an appendage...

but it worked out just fine!

i felt like the ghost of christmas present.

we fluffed her up...

and put some ornaments on...

and lovingly named her grace. :)

isn't she beautiful??

merry christmas!

coin laundry

2009-12-16T15:05:00.003-07:00

this little video/song has really been growing on me. when i first saw it on a blog i love to read-- taza and husband -- i didn't really care for it. the second time, i liked it. the third time, i absolutely loved it and i've been listening to the rest of her songs on her myspace page.

and just so you know-- the video is slightly creepalicious. but for some reason it grew on me too.

i just think she's so ridiculously adorable, and i love her huge bow. and her shoulder-dancey-shrugs are just so funny.

what do you think?

Lisa Mitchell - Coin Laundry

lisa mitchell | MySpace Music Videos

dear marcos

2009-12-13T17:47:00.008-07:00

can you believe we've been married for a whopping six months? it seems like it was years ago when we went into the bountiful temple where we would be sealed for time and all eternity.

since we've been married, i have fell so much more in love with you. i didn't know it was even possible.

i've also learned lots of crazy things about you i never knew... some of my favorites are as follows.

i absolutely 100% love love love sitting around in our footie pajamas playing computer and watching our shows.
oh, and i love him for wearing those sock monkey jammers. it melts my heart every time!
marcos loses so much hair from his head it's amazing there's any left at the end of the day. it also has a habit of falling into my food-- (i handed him my bite of bagel for two seconds while i was driving so i could make a proper turn, and one of those tricksters leaped right into my cream cheese.)
i love his kooky, nutty personality that really goes wild when he a) gets really sleepy or b) wakes up from naps. today he woke up from his sunday snooze doing the dance from "they don't really care about us" from 'this is it' while laying down. he has no recollection of any of this.
i love his silly impressions. i'll make a video soon, they're so great. my favorite is his viggo mortenson-- he yells "hobbits! get down from there!" in a booming voice. it's so accurate it's scary. because, you know, viggo says that all the time in the lord of the rings movies.
i love that he thinks i'm a wonderful wife even though i haven't cleaned, done dishes, laundry, or made a real meal in weeks. (between being so sick, finals, and work i've just been so... yeah, okay, maybe i'm just lazy.)
i love our overwhelming craziness. who else comes home with a three foot metal dinosaur wall mural?
i love him for believing in me. with school, work, the headband/jewelry thing, all of it. he is always so supportive and i wouldn't have even attempted any of it if it weren't for him.
i love him for how hard he works. going to school full time and working full time? i would throw myself in front of a bus, but he does it without complaint. he is SUPERMAN!
i love him for his sweetness. exhibit a) the fort. our bedroom window constantly leaks cold air that makes me freeze every night because it blows right on me. marky, being the wonderful guy he is, surprised me one day when i came home from work with a kitchen-chair-laundry-basket-blanket contraption that blocks all the cold air and keeps my safe. sure, it looks like a hobo's hut it the corner of our bedroom but i think it's the best ever. :)

so, dear marky, i could go on for years naming all the wonderful things i love about you... and i will. for eternity. :)

happy six months, lover.

love,

dani

happy birthday, e!

2009-12-06T14:08:00.004-07:00

Happy Birthday to little Alien E from Tio Marcos and Tia Danielle!

We're so glad you haven't returned to your mothership-- you're just so fun to have around!

the swell season

2009-12-04T23:48:00.004-07:00

First off, you should know my favorite movie of ALL time is "Once," starring Glen Hansard (lead singer of The Frames) and Marketa Irglova.

(Yes, Mia-- I'm aware it's rated R for REALLY REALLY GOOD. But honestly, there's a random extra that cusses for 2 seconds and it's over. Not even as bad as one class at Westminster!)

Basically, Glen and Marketa's friend wrote this film based off of the music Glen and Marketa wrote. They created the movie just for fun in 17 days in Dublin, submitted it to some festivals, and expected nothing to happen. The movie was picked up by Sundance, and eventually won an Oscar for best original song. Listen to it below. (I promise it's worth your time!)

Anyway, I absolutely adore them. They are so, so talented and passionate about the music. They play together under the name The Swell Season.

I always hoped to see them live in concert (it would be like watching my favorite movie happen right in front of my eyes!) but because Glen is from Ireland and Marketa is from the Czech Republic, I didn't think it'd ever happen.

Little did I know, but my incredible, amazing, wonderfully spectacular husband found out they WERE coming and surprised me with tickets!

So we get all gussied up in our cuteness, ate at the Pie Pizarria (typical), and headed over to Kingsbury Hall at the U for the show. We arrive, they check our tickets at the entrance, again at the doors to the auditorium, and then another one checked our tickets to show us to our seat. We sat there, all riled up and excited, when we started to notice things were a little... off. Like how there was Christmas music playing. And even though it was half hour until it started, it was nearly empty-- and we knew the show was sold out. And what few people were there were old. Really old. And there were snowflake lights on the stage. And we were holding "It's A Wonderful Life" programs.

Yes. That's right. Even though our tickets said Kingsbury Hall, the concert actually was taking place at the Rose Wagner Center for Performing Arts clear downtown by the Gateway.

You'd think the 3 people that checked out tickets and sat us would have noticed, wouldn't you?

So then we go bursting out the doors, running to our free, far-off parking space we had been so proud of, and go hurtling through the streets of Salt Lake, desperately trying to get there in time.

But thanks to Marcos's (Marcos'?) Jason Bourne-like driving skills, we reached the theater in time without causing any serious accidents and had the concert of our lives!

Rachael Yamagata opened and she was spectacular. She has this incredibly soulful raspy, voice.

So then they came out and it was INCREDIBLE!

They opened with one of my favorite songs from the movie-- Fallen Form the Sky-- and it was wild. They played for over 2 1/2 hours, they talked to the crowd, they told the stories behind their songs, and the Frames played with them most of the time. All in all, it was the best EVER.

So, after that huge story, I hope you end up finding some music you like. You should. Because they're incredible.

And, if you're willing to admit that rated R movies aren't terrible (F/X, anyone?) I'd love to watch it with you. :)

Last of all, here's an incredible song Glen sings. (we're on a first name basis, just like Susy and Will)

Talk about passionate about the music.

help! etsy shop name ideas...

2009-11-25T16:52:00.002-07:00

So I know I've already bothered some of you with this... but I made logos or whatever for both of the names for my etsy shop that I've come up with.

I would love love love feedback!

And if you think of anything, please let me know. :) I'm just trying to come up with something good here and I don't know if I have!

Without further ado, I present my ideas.

What do you think?

Kreativ Blogger

2009-11-18T17:28:00.003-07:00

Hello all you beautiful people! My darling girl Wendy

nominated me as a Kreativ Blogger. Frankly, I just steal everything I do from her,

(short hair, marrying a Chard, being a girl, etc)

but I'll attempt to do something on my own. :)

Here's the deets:

1. Copy the pretty picture and post it on your blog. (coming soon.)

2. Thank the wonderful person that nominated you and link their blog.

(because we all need more people to stalk)

3. Write 7 things about yourself we don't know.

So since I've already told you about the marvelous Wendizzle, I'll dive right in!

1. I have obnoxiously, horribly loud hiccups. They sound like "the screams of baby Smurfs," according to Marcos. He's not exaggerating. I once got them spectacularly bad in Dillard's and the saleswoman actually told me I had to stop making those strange noises because I was scaring the customers.

--Side Note--

I just heard a knock at the door but when I opened it I saw nothing. I heard a faint tinkling of music, and when I looked down I saw Marcos' cell phone on the door mat playing Barbie Girl.

He's the coolest. :)

2. I do not own a single item of red clothing. I bought my very first orange item last month and let me tell you, it's been quite revolutionary.

3. I was a maniac as a child. I had a cubby in my closet (it was probably all of 2 feet, tops)

and I kept all of my stuffed animals up there and it's where I spent most of my time. I would even make my friends hide in there when their moms came to get them so they wouldn't have to leave. I also remember running out of the tiny little opening, jumping out, grabbing onto the bar that went across my closet, and swinging off of it across my room.

I watched George of the Jungle way too much.

4. I was absolutely 100% obsessed with Josie and the Pussycats when it came out. Every time my parents let me rent a movie, it was that one. I had the soundtrack, and I probably still know every word. I would listen to it all day in my room, hairbrush/microphone in hand, and sing to all the horses on my wall. (see #5) I think that's why I wanted to be a rockstar... Josie was so cool and she made me proud to be a red head!

5. When I was about four, my mom let me decide how to decorate my room. Bad. Idea.

It was pepto bismol pink with a lavender stripe across the middle.The bottom half was wallpapered in flowers. Above the purple strip was a border of horses running and jumping and mating. (just kidding on that one) The very top of the room was a border of painted flowers and bows. And, to top it all off, my carpet was the puke green.

6. I have never been crafty in my life, but I have been attempting to lately. I've been making all sorts of headbands, belts, and jewelry lately, and I absolutely love it! I feel so productive and creative. I'll be selling them at the annual boutique and hopefully making a shop on etsy. More on that later. :)

7. I love love love love love cooking desserts. I'm always in the mood to make them, too! I probably make more desserts than I do dinner, breakfast, and lunch combined. And I just saw this recipe, and I think I know how my evening will be spent. :) Oh, and if you share your own Chuck E. Cheese experience on my previous post, I might share them. Maybe.

So there you have it!

For my nominations:

Erica-- wonderfully crafty, stylish, and unique girl.

Amy-- a lovely little sweetheart that will crack me up, i'm sure.

Alora-- fantastically hilarious and fashionable woman who is now named SLETVANA.

and.... unfortunately, I'm not cool enough to know a million bloggers...

So. Wendy, Mia, Marcela, Marky, Abby, Emily, etc.

Consider yourself nominated by me as well. :)

**Note**

I'm not sure if Gabby or Mario have already been nominated. If you haven't, I just did!

where a kid can be a kid

2009-11-17T19:54:00.002-07:00

My whole life has revolved around one thought-- get to Chuck E. Cheese.

Truly. All I ever wanted to do was to go to that magical place and play games and have the cheesiest pizza around. I wanted to dive into the ball pits, do somersaults off the arcade games, and wack-a-mole with a birthday cake.

I remember watching commercials like this and dreaming of rapping my own version of the song while racking up the tickets to buy a sparkly boondoggle bracelet or a giant Bugs Bunny.

For some reason or another, I never made it to that land of wonderment. This all changed, however, last Friday when Marcos and I went out for a date.

The time had come, universe, and I was going to do what I should have done ages ago... I was taking my Chuck E. Cheese lovin' life and going to make my dreams come true.

I could barely breathe, I was so excited. I was literally hyperventilating on the way there I was so excited.

Finally, the time came... I crossed the threshold... and entered...

The Land of Ultimate Disappointment.

I couldn't believe it!

Chuck E. Cheese ended up being the smallest, rattiest, lamest dump of an arcade I can imagine. Where I imagined unicorns frolicking, angry mothers with B.O. were yelling. Where I imagined fairy dust, there were boogers.

Every single thing I had dreamed of left me in a storm of bewilderment.

Why, Chuck E. Cheese, why??

So now, life, I just don't know what to do with you.

Chuck E. Cheese was my only goal!

marcos got a hair cut!

2009-11-06T21:35:00.005-07:00

Oh, joyous day!

It's finally arrived... Thine mythical scissors hath defeated the dreaded...

RATTAIL!

Before:

(oh, the horror!)

After:

I have my handsome hubby back!

Hooray!

where the wild things are

2009-10-30T00:44:00.003-06:00

This Is It

2009-10-28T14:55:00.003-06:00

Before I met Marcos, I did not....

1. Drink Dr. Pepper. Now I'm a complete addict and will probably spend several thousand dollars on it over the course of my lifetime.

2. Know of Billy Ocean. Luckily, we danced around to "Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car" on our first date.

3. Know the pure beauty and love that is Michael Bolton. My life was forever changed when I heard the opening bars of "Time Love and Tenderness" while driving through Ogden.

4. Know of Kenny Loggins, with the exception of "Return to Pooh's Corner." And he has so much more to offer.

5. Appreciate the musical genius that is Michael Jackson.

That's right. I remember being about 5 listening to Michael Jackson secretly in my friends house and absolutely loving it. We didn't ever listen to him in my own house, so that's pretty much all I had heard.

A few years later I had a lesson in church where the teacher played MJ's "They Don't Really Care About Us" and told us all sorts of awful, untrue things about the song and the singer. I was young and, trusting this adult, believed them and didn't listen to MJ anymore.

So until Marcos and I were dating, I hadn't heard any MJ (with the exception of "Thriller" and "Billie Jean" at stomps) since that incident.

But thankfully, Marcos changed all that. :) While I suppose I'm late to appreciate his glory, I'm just happy Marcos introduced me to him and I was able to learn the truth about what a wonderful person he is.

Last night, we were lucky enough to go to the premiere of "This Is It." What a wonderful movie! I felt like crying throughout the whole thing for all those years I had judged him without knowing anything about him other than what I was told.

So, thanks to Marcos and the wonderful movie, I now know so much more about this incredible individual. I have never seen someone so loving-- every chance he could he was telling the people around them how much they meant to him and saying "God bless you" every chance he could.

I have such an overwhelming respect for the man.

I only hope that I can learn from this experience and not be so quick to judge others.

So, MJ-- here's to you. :) A tribute from Marcos and I.

Cha-HOO!

freddie mercury:

2009-09-30T01:11:00.003-06:00

you are my favorite Asian!

I would just like to say thanks for being the most fantastic rockstar ever to live.
My father is spectacularly awesome and introduced me to Queen at a young age. I remember -I think I was 4 or 5?- driving through Ogden and yelling, "dad, let's listen to We Are the Queens! I love The Champions!" I would then burst into singing "weeeeeeeeee are the queens, my friends!" at the top of my lungs. I was obviously confused... But the power of the music transcended my ignorance.
The story continues approximately a year or so later when at Lagoon I was watching a show based entirely around Bohemian Rhapsody. I was singing it all night so my father, being the fantastic person he is, sat me down in his office, let me listen to the cd, and burned my very own copies. I still have those and listen to them all the time.

So, it's time for you to sound back with your own stories!

I expect two responses from every Chard out there.

1. What band has made your life?
2. Who's your favorite Asian?

Over and out, padawans.

Westminster, I'm finding it hard to deal with you.

2009-09-23T08:55:00.002-06:00

Last year, I thought Westminster was a dream come true. It seems I've woken up.

Westminster constantly claims that it's a "hate free zone" and "no judgements are made here." Yet almost everyday I hear something in class-- even by proffessors-- about how bigoted Mormons are. Everyone in class joins in and talks about how the Church is solely responsible for everything that has ever gone wrong with the gay movement, specifically Prop 8. They completely disregard the fact that other churches were involved before the Mormons and the people VOTED for it. The church didn't hold a gun to their head and force them to pass Prop 8. They did it by their own free will.

I'm disgusted by this whole Westminster idea of "love everyone!" when there's such a ridiculous amount of critcism going on about my religion. I find this hypocrisy is one of the things that's turning me against Westminster.

This might be stupid and just written in the heat of the moment, but the questioning of if Westminster is right for me has been in my mind for quite a while. Yes, it's paid for. But if I hate my time here, what does it matter?

I guess this year is so different for me-- living off campus, being one of the two married students on campus, and being (gasp!) Mormon. It's just opened my eyes to how stupid so much of this is. I've actually seen students write "*~KeGgEr!~*" in their schedules-- cute-- and I'm just amazed at how they use the f-bomb for every meaning they want. I had a proffessor go on a (literally) 15 minute tirade about how funny the f-word was and just kept saying it over and over until the class stopped laughing so hard. One of my professors used George Carlin's 7 Words You Can't Say On TV Or Radio to say that anyone who was offended by her repeatedly spouting off the list was simply immature.

I suppose last year I didn't care so much because I was so wrapped up in the "ohmygosh I'm in COLLEGE!" idea that is so extreme freshman year. This year the school isn't such an experience.

I get that this isn't BYU. I don't want to go to BYU. I just want my school to at least respect my beliefs the way they claim they do. I just want to be able to go to class and not get a sick feeling in my stomach everytime the church is brought up and wonder "what are they going to say now?"

I'm really not enjoying it here.

dear MIKA,

2009-09-17T12:40:00.008-06:00

We'll be seeing you in LA!

wishing and hoping and dreaming....

2009-09-16T16:39:00.007-06:00

Lately I haven't been able to stop looking for clothes online. Every so often I get completely bored with my current style and become scarily obsessed with finding fun new things. This most often reflects itself in my haircuts, but as I'm out of hair, it's channeling into a super-strong desire to spend hours looking online.

My endless midnight searches have turned up some positively lovely pieces I figure I might as well share.

And yes, I'm going to be ridiculously girly and gush about clothes. So, consider this your warning. Get out while you still can!

This one I actually own. Love it!

This vest is probably the greatest vest I've ever seen. Honestly, it melts my soul. It would look great with anything and everything-- plain white tee, a frilly top, skinny jeans, anything.

I would wear this dress while I picked daisies in a field with unicorns.

Again, I can see all my wildest dreams coming true while wearing this shirt.

This one is just too amazing, I can't even begin to imagine all the fabulous things I'd do if I owned it.

I can't get over this one. Not only is it phenomenal, it's on sale to boot!

This pattern is so fun-- it feels funky and whimsical at the same time.

These shoes are so fantastic, I can't even begin to explain why. Just look. And drool.

So, that's my frenzy of late! I hope you (if anyone made it through the whole thing) at least didn't feel like hurling yourself off of a cliff afterwards.

...because I sure had a good time and there will be many more pictures to come!

hee hee. :)

attention!

2009-09-09T19:56:00.005-06:00

i present to you some of the jewelry i've made.

i've made four necklaces since the pictures were taken-- as soon as i take more, i'll put them up here for you to see.

any and all comments/feedback/criticisms are more than welcome and extremely encouraged!

anyway, i really hope you like them. if you want anything or would like me to make something, please let me know! i just really enjoy doing it.

i'm hoping to eventually, once i'm good enough, sell it. i'm thinking etsy or a boutique in sugarhouse that might carry it or something... suggestions?

any ideas for what to call it? i haven't been able to come up with anything.

frankly, i need ya'll's help!

ol' franky

2009-08-19T20:26:00.003-06:00

Okay, ya'll, the time has come for me to shout my opinions from the rooftops! The effect of reading my words isn't quite as powerful as hearing it right out of my mouth, but my darling Stephen Colbert gave me a fantastic solution-- get someone you greatly admire to read this aloud to you, and the effect will be nearly the same. ;)

As you may know, I'm usually quite the Dean Koontz fan. He's got a knack for telling a highly interesting story in an extremely unique way-- the first two books in this series can attest to that. Essentially, he took Mary Shelley's novel and turned it into a modern day thriller. Victor is still alive and creating and Deaucalion, the monster, travels to New Orleans to stop him. Along the way, Detectives O'Conner and Madison join Deaucalion's army dedicated to stopping Victor and his "new race" of super humans that are intended to replace all of us.

This third and last book was postponed for an entire FOUR YEARS so Dean Koontz could rewrite and work Hurricane Katrina into the mix. The result? Rain. Yep, that's all he does. He waits four years to add a constant downpour throughout the novel. Not only does the story fall short, but he blatantly rips off the Dobby character from Harry Potter. Maybe it's just me, but the whole thing lacks that Koontz-y flair that I love. I wasn't a fan of the ending-- he opts for the easiest way out-- but the first two books are so good they make up for this lame final installment. I still would actually recommend the series simply for the great beginning they had.

Anyway, more reviews to come! Prepare yourselves to hear all about Shanghai Girls, Fun.'s new album, and a fantastic cookie recipe I found!

the triumphant return!

2009-08-16T20:44:00.003-06:00

Well, my adoring readers, count your lucky stars because the ever-popular “BANANA COLORS” is back in business! I figure that you fans have been neglected long enough and I simply can’t live with myself knowing that every single day millions of readers rush to their computers only to have their spirits crushed when they find my blog still hasn’t been updated. I’m right up their with Perez Hilton-- can you imagine the pure chaos that the world would crash into if he neglected to fill us in on the personal lives of our favorite celebrities? (John Cryer, you know who you are.)

Okay, so my real reason for this typing spree is simply that the school year is about to begin. That’s right, a truckload of papers and essays are headed my way. I thought this is the best preparation I’m willing to submit myself to in order to prepare my ferociously fast furiously flying fingers for the keyboard ordeals to come.

I’m already out of things to say…. Except for one word that strikes a note of pure joy in every book lovers heart… KINDLE.

Yes, my friends, my best friend got my the coolest thing since sliced bread for my birthday-- the greatest electronic reader to ever exist! (Well, pretty much the only one. But that’s part of why it’s so great. It obliterated the other ones with its electronic paper, built in dictionary, and other great features.) It’s beyond amazing-- I’ve already downloaded enough free books-- all of which I’ve been wanting to read--- that it’s paid for itself. Truly, if I had paid for all the books I now possess, I would have spent many, many moo-lahs.

Some of the great titles I’m about to immerse myself in are…. (freely, of course)

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Dracula - Bram Stoker

The Invisible Man - HG Wells

The Jungle - Upton Sinclair

The Mysterious Island - Jules Verne

The Picture of Dorian Grey - Oscar Wilde

The Scarlet Pimpernel - Baroness Orczy

And, most significantly,

Wolves of the Sea: Being a Tale of the Colonies From the Manuscript of One Geoffry Carlyle, Seaman, Narrating Certain Strange Adventures Which Befell Him Aboard the Pirate Craft “Namur” - Randall Parrish.

All for free! Not to mention the literal THOUSANDS more on the site.

I have purchased a few books, all of which I shall review in the upcoming decades. Prepare yourself to hear all about the last installment of Dean Koontz’s Frankenstein, Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment by James Patterson, Shanghai Girls by Sarah Lee… and many, many more!

Has anyone read anyone read any of the before mentioned books? Read, avoid, advice? Any suggestions?

I’m in a crazed reading mode, so everything is appreciated. :)

to my dear childhood friend....

2009-05-24T17:24:00.006-06:00

...who now lives ever so far away! oh, how i miss the days of riding in clifford to get tangees at stephs, mocking the trunchible during assemblies, and watching trace adkins on good ol' cmt. i can't wait for the day when you can return and we can relive our glory days by looking through the extensive libraries of pictures of us together. maybe next time we're together we can go to a karaoke bar and sing "daddy won't sell the farm" together again. ah, man, those were the days. back when you had the flowing mullet and i had a beard. man. i'll never forget the day you taught me to shave and i dropped your dad's razor in the toilet.... good memories!
anyway, here's to my dear friend, MARSIO, who helped define my childhood.
happy birthday, buddy.

Kris Allen????

2009-05-20T21:33:00.001-06:00

American Idol--
You are dead to me.

i love what google searches can turn up.

2009-04-25T22:49:00.000-06:00

ruby river!

2009-04-24T22:15:00.000-06:00

tender

2009-04-20T14:07:00.004-06:00

Cows are amongst the gentlest of breathing creatures; none show more passionate tenderness to their young when deprived of them; and, in short, I am not ashamed to profess a deep love for these quiet creatures. ~Thomas de Quincey

it's official!

2009-03-13T12:10:00.004-06:00

Yesterday, my best friend in all universes of universes proposed to me!!

"Attention Walgreens customers:

We would like to congratulate Marcos and Danielle on their engagement!"

i finally learned the secret...

2009-03-11T22:55:00.002-06:00

...to cooking success! just having this little gem in your kitchen will make all of your dishes instant culinary masterpieces.

For those of you who know me well, you know cooking is a new battlefield I'm just started to venture in. I can only imagine the security of carrying a rocket with me as I enter the dreaded kitchen. They offer far more protection that sporks, I assure you.

sexual healing

2009-02-18T01:33:00.003-07:00

Michael Bolton... in the tub.

My life is complete.

100 billion questions.

2009-02-03T20:50:00.003-07:00

[1.] Real Name - Nala Zimbabwe Gazelle
[2.] Like It? – mmmm, girl, you know it!
[3.] Single or Taken? - auctioned off! soooooold! gracious, now i sound like a mail order bride... awkward.
[4.] Zodiac Sign - leonardo dicaprio!
[5.] Male or Female? - mmm, girl, you know it!
[6.] Elementary School? – mr. pomeroy never took me out to ice cream.
[7.] Middle School? – mr. mcfarland made me uncomfortable....
[8.] High School – ken adams told me i was full of piss and vinegar.
[10.] Hair Color – red and (occasionally) purple! just like the old ladies!
[11.] Eye Color – they eyes are perfect replicas of the planet earth.
[12.] Hair Length - long on the left side, short on the right.
[13.] Current Worry? - finding time to do homework in between the super fun times 5000!
[14.] Weight – woman
[15.] Are You A Health Freak? - i like bacon and ice cream. a lot.
[16.] Height - straight up gangsta.
[17.] Do You Have A Crush On Someone? - MARCOS TARD!
[18.] Do You Like Yourself? - me and danielle have some good times.
[19.] Any Piercings? - dos. (oooh look! spanish!)
[20.] Any Tattoos? - "boy" across me bum. and a pirate ship on me left bicep.
[21.] Righty or Lefty? - ctr

***FIRSTS***
[22.] First Surgery? – that of the wonderful mockumentary, spinal tap.
[23.] First Piercings? - 4th grade? i think...
[24.] First Best Friend? - robby roo. and pinky.
[25.] First Award? – "best human being ever"-- at birth.
[26.] First Sport? - soccer... but i didn't do anything but hold my friend's hand and run around talking about being a real princess.
[27.] First Pet? – my big brother.
[28.] First Vacation? – there's places other than morgan?
[29.] First Teacher? – cheryl newton. "derek's fun to play with, but cody's fun to play with AND fun to look at!" i was an insane preschooler.
[30.] First Crush? - cody carter. i finally worked up the nerve to kiss him on the cheek in kindergarten.
[31.] First big birthday? - um... my first birthday?

***THIS OR THAT***
[32.] Orange or Apple Juice? - orange juice with pretzels but apple juice with bananas.
[33.] Rock or Rap? - michael bolton vs. fiddy cent? no question. I LIVE FOR MULLETS.
[34.] Country or Screamo? - poke me in the eye, please.
[35.] N'Sync or Backstreet Boys? - n'syc! joey! jc! lance! the ugly one!
[36.] Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera? - if you seek ashley? ew.
[37.] Night or Day? - mr. sun vs. shooting stars? don't make me choose.
[38.] Sun or Moon? - i'm ignoring this.
[39.] TV or Internet? - they both have my two loves... the office and antm. i don't discriminate against one or the other.
[40.] PlayStation or Xbox? - TEKEN! i loved paul. he looked like johnny bravo.
[42.] Iguana or Turtle? - turtles are drifters AND carry homes on their backs.
[43.] Spider or Bee? - bizzle.
[44.] Fall or spring? - how about anything without snow?
[45.] Limewire or iTunes? – 8 tracks!
[46.] Chocolate or Vanilla? - apple pie ice cream!
[47.] Soccer or Baseball? - soccer. please. no question.
[48.] Hot or Cold? - icy hot patch.

***CURRENTLY**
[49.] Eating? - i had blt pizza. mmm.
[50.] Drinking? – my addiction... sobes and propels and life waters.. all at the same time.
[51.] I'm about to? – hahaha pitter patter.. best answer ever.
[52.] Listening to? – sexual healing-- michael bolton.
[53.] Plans for today? – grumble. homework. sleep.
[54.] Waiting for? – this questions to end.

***FUTURE***
[55.] Want Kids? - 17, please.
[56.] When? - now, actually.
[57.] Marriage? - rhymes with "slippage" which is a weird song.
[58.] When? - for they say when you're married in june...
[59.] Where Do You Want To Live? – in the freshman dorms! forever!
[60.] How Many Kids? – a schoolbus full
[61.] Any Name on the Mind? - jet. jude.
[62.] What Did You Want To Be When You Were Little? – a professional cookie maker. or monster.
[63.] What Do You Think You’ll Really Be Doing? – laughing with my best friend.
[64.] Something You Would Never Try? – hugging a strange biker. and stroking his bushy 'stache and mullet.
[65.] When Do You Want to Die? – at the end of my life. oooh!

***HAVE YOU EVER? ***
[77.] Kissed A Stranger? - we're all brothers and sisters!
[78.] Drank Bubbles? – eh?
[79.] Lost Glasses/ Contacts? - just did... but i got some bomb.com ones!
[80.] Climbed Up A Tree? - i lived in a tree as a child.
[83.] Ran away from home? - lots. once in my pink nightgown with a little suitcase.
[84.] Been Arrested? – yeah. call me prison mike.
[85.] Liked A Friend As More Than A Friend? - MARCOS TARD IS MY BEST BUDDY!

***DO YOU BELIEVE IN***
[86.] Yourself? - why yes, i do exist!
[87.] Miracles? – yessir
[88.] Love at First Sight – and shooting stars!
[89.] Santa Claus? - my dad looks like him.
[90.] Kissing On the First Date? - who would DO that??
[92.] God? – yes.

***ANSWER TRUTHFULLY***
[93.] Is There Someone You Want To Be With Right Now? - michael bolton and miercoles.
[94.] Do You Like Someone? - MARCOS TARD!

***LASTS***
[95.] Received/Sent Text Message – from marzipan.
[96.] Received Call - from MARCOS TARD!
[97.] Call Made? – to miercoles!
[98.] Comment on Facebook? – on the wonderful 80's sweaters.
[99.] Missed Call? - eh
[100.] Person You Hung out with? - m-dizzle. sorry, just droppin names... michael bolton.

can i touch you... there?

2009-02-03T10:39:00.002-07:00

One strand of Michael Bolton's hair could cure Africa.

Not AIDS, not malaria, not poverty.... Africa.

Michael Bolton.

I'm asking you.... please? Send a hair and save a continent?

too cool for school

2009-02-02T14:36:00.008-07:00

wow. those beautiful 80's sweaters bring tears to my eyes.

sonnet 17

2009-01-30T16:34:00.002-07:00

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

in which there is no I or you
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand
so intimate that when you fall asleep it is my eyes that close.

--Pablo Neruda

We read a lot of poetry the other day in my experiencing the arts class, and this one really struck me. It's one of my favorites, now-- and I love poetry.

Did you like it or hate it? Why?

What was your favorite line? Phrase? Image?

Do you have any favorite poems? What are they? Why do you love them?

the day my life changed forever.

2009-01-30T13:09:00.003-07:00

it was a beautiful spring morning with birds chirping and woodland creatures singing outside my window. i rose from my bed, shook my luxurious hair, and pranced across the house to retrieve my mail. as i flipped through the various parcels, i noticed an envelop emblazoned with large, red letters. my breath caught in my throat, my eyes widened with surprise, and my heart began to pound. "me?" i asked in surprise. "how? why?" i questioned. positive i had misread, my frantic eyes again checked to see who this letter was addressed to-- and yes, this envelope was indeed meant to be in my hands. i flipped it over, broke the seal, and removed the letter... and there, fastened tightly to the thin paper, was a red and white plastic square. i grasped it in my triumphant hands, raised it above my head, and let out a squeal that would challenge even the littlest of girls. in that moment, i knew my life was changed forever. no longer would i pay full prices at restaurants and amusement parks! no longer would i be denied access to the senior menu with their tiny portions and miniscule prices! no longer can wal-mart tell me i am not allowed to ride their electric carts-- oh no. because i, dear world, am a senior. i have evidence.

i, danielle follett, am a member of the aarp.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AARP

reasons not to date a t-rex

2009-01-26T13:34:00.002-07:00

An edited version of..

Haha. I just had the thought... Tiresome dinner suggestions. Pizza, anyone? :) Nooo, just kidding. I'm almost as obsessed... although my real food love is something else.

on the subject of unicorns.

2009-01-26T12:47:00.003-07:00

How to Test Real Unicorn Horn

In order to distinguish "real" unicorn horn from false unicorn horn, you can use these elaborate tests:

Place scorpions under a dish with a piece of horn. If the scorpions die in a matter of hours, the horn is real.
Feed arsenic to pigeons, followed by a dose of Unicorn horn. If the pigeons live, the horn is genuine.
Draw a ring on the floor with the horn. If the horn is real, a spider will not be able to cross the ring.
Place the horn in cold water. If the water bubbles but remains cold, the horn came from a Unicorn.

Thank you, unicornlady.com! Your terrifying obsession with unicorns will no doubt come in handy. I can think of multiple scenarios where this information could possibly save my life.

1. I'm attacked by a mad man who declares he will spare my life if I know how to test if his unicorn horn is real or not.

2. I discover I have an unknown, wealthy uncle who leaves me his large herd of unicorns with detachable horns.

3. I date a unicorn.

Which brings me to my next topic! I found this site and oh, how it made me laugh.

(I just used my favorites)

in honor of 2!

2009-01-20T00:07:00.007-07:00

The past 62 days have been the best days of my life...

and I know there's a lot more to come!

Thank you for making them so wonderful.

it's finally here.

2009-01-19T23:23:00.003-07:00

war on terror vs. war on methane

2009-01-19T23:17:00.001-07:00

Gary Busey, thank you for saving the world... one cow plug at a time.

This is Otis. I love Otis.

2009-01-05T23:47:00.001-07:00

Lampshade...

2009-01-04T21:11:00.004-07:00

...is the other name I was considering for this blog. While I do have a deep, abiding love for lampshades, bananas and colors are more prevalent in my day-to-day life.

Hi. I'm Danielle. And this is my blog.

Meet Jack Handey.

His pearls of wisdom are like beautiful butterflies dancing through a rainbow, guiding me to a field of daisies and unicorns. Here are some of my favorites:

I think there should be something in science called the "reindeer effect." I don't know what it'd be, but I think it'd be good to hear someone say, "gentleman, what we have here is a terrifying example of the reindeer effect."
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think what if I were an ant, and she fell on me? Then it wouldn't seem so funny.
When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing??

answer: Edward Cullen